More of Me?

Greetings!
It's been a while since I have conected with you through the blog, but that is exactly why I am writing today!!
Notice the title "more of me", this is a concept that is simply offensive to our Christian senseabilities. But wait, follow me for the context of this statement. You see when I look at the women in my life (myself included) I wonder when "enough is enough"!
When I say more of me I simply mean that as women we need to honor our bodies, minds, and spirits by taking care of ourselves. Putting , ourselves "on the list", stop feeling guilty about taking some "me time". More importantly we need to give God more of me not just what's left over after we have worked overtime on the job, attended the PTA meeting, dropped kids off at soccer, baseball, basketball practice, after mending their uniform for the game on saturday for which we are designated to bring the snacks as the "team mom", oh and let's not forget the hubs who simply cannot live without our cooking and can never find his "good" shirt for church on Sunday morning. Okay so you know the drill, my point being there are so many things that we do because? we are women? people depend on us? we are the only ones who can? simply because we can? this is how we show/feel love and appreciation? Hmmmm, good question. Right? Well it's not as much a question as it is a statement. We were created to be nurturers, help meets, completion so to speak. But in all things there should be balance! yes even in service. On that note I would like to close with this a recent "note" to friends:
Greetings All,
As I sit here in my home office, taking care of some business, and nursing a very painful leg, that I am pretty much unable to walk on. I am thinking of my far too frequent tendency to put off or even forgo self care. After all there is so much to be done and people depend on me. I spend a lot of time in prayer and meditation on behalf of my clients , the families I serve in my church, friends, and my own family as I believe is God's will for us as Believers. I also pray for strength and wisdom, and more importantly His will be done regarding my purpose as a wife, mother, and MFT. What I realize is that sometimes I am not always so good at slowing down and taking time to rejuvenate myself, even if it means something as simple as just taking a nap or getting a manicure. God will deliver the Spiritual restoration and physical healing but you can't be running from Him on your way to the next task, especially if you pray His will be done. This doesn't really work while you're pursuing yours!

Okay so I confessed all that to say this:
I thought I got it, all this time while telling myself "Mai you really gotta slow down the enemy is attacking you so fiercely because you have allowed your resistance to get so low". But the light really came on last night when my husband shared this with me during our evening Devotion:

April 6th meditation
They made me keeper of the Vineyards; but mine own vineyard I have not kept. Song of Solomon 1:6
Our attention is here drawn to a danger which is preeminently one of this day; the intense activity of our times may lead to zeal in service to the neglect of personal communion, but such neglect will not only lessen the value of the service, but tend to incapacitate us for the highest service.
__J. Hudson Taylor
__Thoughts for the Quiet Hour


So on that note; I will close with my "take away" from this: Let us continue to serve in excellence, but remember knowing your limits is an essential part of excellent service.
Love Yall!

"Deep-ression"

Recently in preparation for a workshop I will be facilitating I have been spending more time (than usual) studying the topic of Depression. I must say that now that I have taken more time to step back and actually look at what Depression really is, I am bothered by how flippantly we throw around this term.
Depression has a general character, but also very specific features depending on what type of Depression it is and even more specific depending on the person, gender , age, etc.
This revalation came as a result of my own bout with Depression.
I won't take you through all the types and sub-types here, but what I will share is that what I learned and continue to learn is life changing!
And that is just my point. Today we tend to throw the word Dpression at anything that makes us sad or can be better described as "the blues". Depression however does not just effect your day or week, it effects your LIFE.
Dpression is among the most painful and difficult of all human experiences. It robs those who have it of energy, interest, and the will to make things better. The "spirit" of Depression is profoundly negative, causing its sufferers to develop a negative view of self, the world, and the future. In fact during Depression it can seem as though nothing can change and things will never get better.

Clinuical Depression can be described as: feeling EXTREMELY low or disinterested most of the day, nearly every day as well as a long list of other sysmptoms, including but not limited to;insomnia,hypersomnia, significant wieght gain or loss, feelings of worthlessness,and hopelesness. These symptoms can be accompanied by distorted, irrational, negative thinking including suicidal thoughts and even attempts.
Some very crucial points to keep in mind as the U.S. and the world is going through some very tough times
1. GOD is in controll There is nothing too big for Him to handle!!
2. Depression is hard to diagnose on your own.Often our moods
effect our judgement, the way we see ourselves and others. It is often necessary for us to speak to a Mental Health professional to make the diagnosis.
3. You are not alone. If you are suffering from depression, you are not alone. More than 5% of adults are depressed at any given point in their lives, and more than 15% will be depressed at some point in their lives.
4.Depression is not a sign of weakness.Many capable, intellegent, and extremely accomplished people have been depressed. Being depressed does not mean you have a "weak" personality or character. It simply means that your spirit is being attacked by the enemy!
Depression is a tool of the ENEMY!!
My personal attack came after the loss of a second child to miscarriage. My husband and I had been married for two years, we deeply desired to have children. After this loss the enemy attacked us at the very fiber of our covenant,we stopped communicating. We began to question ourselves, each other, as well as the world. I looked at other young mothers with resentment and evny, "why them and not me Lord!"
For me depression came in the form of a "wall" that kept my loved ones out. I have always been one to "talk about it" you are never in the dark as to how I feel because I will tell you. Depression "took" my words.
What I heard when I stopped talking however, changed my life! It was the voice of God telling me exactly what I should do to expereince healing from the profound pain in my heart...and as they say the rest is history.
8 years and 2 beautiful little boys later, my husband and I are standing ever firm on God's promise for our covenant. I only look back to recall the lesson and count the blessings!
Going through Depression is a very difficult journey!, but if you take care to know the terrain (equip yourself with the Word of God)and take along a well traveled companion (talk to those who have been through it or skilled, knowledgeable professional) You Will Make It!!!
If you want to learn more in depth about how to help yourself and loved ones with Depression follow Mai Life!!

The work of Waiting

They that wait on the Lord shall renew their strength

Isaiah 40:31. This does not mean sit by and wait while God does all the work. Let's break this verse down a bit:"Waiting" is an act of service, in fact when you go into a restaurant most of the time you are met by a greeter that will then introduce you to your "server" which used to be known as the "waiter" back in the day. Therfore we are to be serving or working at something while we are waiting on the Lord. I once heard it said that "You can tell what a man is waiting on by what he's working on"!If we are not working(doing what He has already given us strength to do), what need is there for renewal?
you see the "waiting on" is more of a steadfastness or rooting of your faith in the Lord as you "work on"your goal.No matter where you find yourself in life or what situation you are facing you can still do Kingdom work, for example, at one point in my life I was literally stricken down with illness. I was in the hospital and I was physically unable to do much of anything, I felt very helpless and somewhat useless, but the one thing that I could still do was use my words, so as God brought Doctors, Nurses, Physical Therapist, Social Workers, and other patients into my presence, I simply shared my faith that God would restore me, that He has a purpose for us all, that the pain,fear, and uncertainty of the night would give way to His release, protection, and clarity in the morning. This was all that I did day after day, until my strength was renewed and it was time for me to go home.To this very day that Doctor is still in my life as my family Doctor and often tells the story of how I encouraged him and his colleagues.My goal or purpose in life was to speak words of healing and encouragement to the hurting. Though I did not realize it at that point I was actually working on that goal and today I am blessed and honored with the opportunity to realize it as a Marriage and Family Therapist.
In order for God to bring harvest in our lives we must first sew and water the seed. This friends in "the work of waiting"
May God bless us as we grow!!

"Flaws For Facets"

So...Yesterday I, along with several other of my colleagues, was blessed to be in a position to connect with Thousands of people, "believers" and "non-believers", at an annual event called Fish Fest.
As I spoke with people who stopped by the booth to inquire about our services,and even as I listened to the music and words coming from the surrounding stages. I had the opportunity to hear testimony after testimony about how God has shown up in times of pain and trouble or how this is the time people need God to show up. I heard stories of angry children, broken marriages, depression, cheating, anxiety,substance abuse, and confusion. What kept coming to my mind was THANK YOU FATHER, for putting us here in this place for such a time as this. I looked in the faces of the people I spoke with. I looked at the expressions on the faces of passers by. I saw every shape, color, and size of humanity and what I felt was love, unity, and a very distinct uniqueness. You see none of us goes through this life smooth we all have our battles we have to endure (this is what unites us)however even when in the same battle each soldier must take up his/her own armor(this is what makes us unique)
which brings me to my revelation:
It is when we are in intense battle that our weaknesses/flaws can and often do get exposed.But when the fight is imminent we have to arm ourselves with the whole armor of God, His Word. We are meant to do battle in this world, and to be victorious!!!!it refines us and sharpens our faith. So when we are cut, bruised, and broken Our Father is just faceting us as diamonds reflecting His light. What we see as flaws and imperfections are representations of our multifaceted Saviour.As we "do battle" our Father has given us victory in trading our Flaws for Facets.

The Art of Parenting?

The more I work with parents as well as parent my own children I have come to the revelation that parenting is not a science but rather an art. You see in science, chemistry specifically, you can use a certain formula and get the exact same outcome every time. You can control the input and outcome of the scientific process. But as a parent you can "pour in" the same amount of love, discipline, and morals into each one of your children and get different outcomes. Each child as God's own unique creation has their own gifts, talents, and personalities that are unlike those of even their closest relatives. In this sense our children are like works of art. God has provided us a very precious "canvas" in our children. As parents we are the "medium". But unlike science we cannot control how the canvas receives the medium. For example oil will be received much differently on burlap than it will on glass, but the outcome is equally as beautiful in it's own way! the same with our children. The scientist views same process-different outcome as a failure or mistake. The artist views same process-different outcome as an extension of their talent. So instead of asking "why can't he/she be more like their brother or sister"? or "they were raised in the same home, why did they come out so differnt". We should view parenting as our God given opportunity to compose priceless works of art, trusting the "Master Crftsman" to preserve the art as well as the artist!

The difference between "Taken Away" and "Given up"?

Sometimes we pray "Father this is more than I can handle or I don't want to deal with this anymore, please take it away from me." I know that I have prayed that prayer many times in my life. If we are honest we may have even prayed that prayer(in secret) about things that we like but we know are not good for us?
As I think about it today, I believe God, in His wisdom does take away those things that we truly can not handle. But more often than not He empowers us with the strength and wisdom to give up those things that are not good for us and cause us to stumble needlessly.
I believe sometimes we get caught up in waiting for God to remove obstacles from our path when He is challenging us to choose a different path. Give up our way and go the way He is leading us. That is not to say that there will never be obstacles on the path that God has chosen for us because there will be. The difference is as we go through them they become smaller and smaller, our God becomes bigger and bigger, and our faith grows stronger and stronger. So as our faith, strength, and wisdom matures in Him we can give up praying that he take away all of our obstacles and say thank you for bringing us through because in the end It's All Good!

How large is your Vessel?

OMG!! What a great message from the very heart of The Father I was blessed to receive today. Although there were many others present in the 8am service at my church this morning, God delivered this man Pastor Mensa Otabil all the way from Accra Ghana on this day, Mother's day to drop this message directly down into the the spirit of this mother.
Whew! I've already said a mouthful but I hope that you can feel the heat through your computer screen as you read this because I am ON FIRE after this word!
Go with me for a moment to 2 Kings 4:1-7. Here you find a widow woman who sought the profit Elisha for help, you see she was a widow, she was in debt (sound familiar?), and on top of that her sons were about to be traded into slavery to the creditor.
But watch this instead of loaning her money, or giving her an answer he in fact asked her some very important questions: >"What shall I do for you?","What have you of sale value in the house?"strong>, giving the woman an opportunity to take part in her own recovery.
Now her first response was one of hopelessness: "Your handmaid has nothing in the housebut the second part represented hope "Except/but a jar of oil". How many of us know that a BUT inserted in the middle of a sentence pretty much cancels out everything that was said before it? Ex.:"you look great today, I love your hair and your outfit is very nice, but it's not really your color.". The but canceled out all the nice things that were said before it. Much like with this widow woman I have nothing, but this jar of oil. God can make our buts abundant (lol no pun intended). Elisha told the woman to go out into the neighborhood and collect vessels, not just a few but as many as she could find, bring them into her home, and shut the door behind her. In obedience to the word of the profit she began to fill vessel after vessel with this one jar of oil. In the end she had enough to sell to pay off her debt and still enough left over for her and her sons to live off of.
What is the message then?
Friends our "oil" our gifts, talents, God's anointing on our life, is not the problem. The problem is the vessel. To put in it in the words of Pastor Otabil: "her container was limited, but the content (her oil) was limitless".
Our anointing, our talents, gifts, and capacity is only limited by the container of our thoughts, fears, and faith.
How do we enlarge our vessels? study God's word(education), network(build systems that are inspirational and supportive of our growth), Develop(our assets, ideas, and abilities, apprenticeship(sit under people who are doing what we want to do and learn from them).Begin to pour our unique abilities and talents (oil) into these borrowed vessels and watch God expand our capacity.
Think about this, the next time you are drinking a bottle of water, look at that bottle in terms of content (the water) and capacity(the bottle). The water is a flowing body which before it was captured and put into this bottle was a limitless flowing stream, I'm sure if given a choice the water would not have chosen to be limited to a 500ml capacity. But because it is contained in a vessel that is only able to hold 500ml it has no choice but to be limited to that capacity.
Will you limit God's content in your life? How large is your vessel? May God Bless us as we grow